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Growing in Spirit and in Truth #3 Presented by the Rev. Kim L. Coleman on April 2, 2006
" . . . for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more." Jeremiah 31:34
Review of Last Month's Teaching & Opening Prayer § Growing in Spirit and in Truth requires the Holy Spirit. § The Holy Spirit is God in Spirit whose job it is to glorify Christ. § Scripture instructs us to live by the Spirit and not by the flesh (Galatians 5:19-23). § This month in Growing in Spirit and in Truth, we learn what links walking in the Spirit or by the flesh: Forgiveness or the lack thereof. § The primary resource for this study is The Gift of Forgiveness by Charles Stanley.
What is forgiveness? i
§ Forgiveness is "the act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you." It is not something you feel. It is something we do as an act of will. § Forgiveness involves three elements: (1) Injury; (2) Debt resulting from the injury; and (3) Cancellation of the debt. § All three elements are essential if forgiveness is to take place.
Why Bother with Our Hurts and Injuries? ii § The need for forgiveness finds its basis in sin – wrongdoings against God and others – and the injury or hurt that results. § Unattended hurt has the potential and capacity to develop into an unforgiving spirit in a process that looks something like this:
We get hurt. We become confused and/or bewildered. We look for detours for pain avoidance. We dig a hole of forgetfulness and denial. We become defeated. We become discouraged over the possibility of change. We discover the truth. We take responsibility. We are delivered.
And yet, we often opt for an unforgiving spirit. Why? § Our own selfishness and/or pride. § Low self-esteem (we become the hurt or injury as our identity becomes intertwined with an event and not in our relationship with God through Jesus Christ). § We think we already have dealt with the hurt. § Forgiveness is painful. § We can't see that by not forgiving we become forever lashed or enslaved to the person or the deed in a way that drains away the rest of one's life." (1 Samuel 18) § We don't know how to be forgiving.
5 Steps to Forgiving Others iii § Recognize that we have been totally forgiven. (Colossians 2:13-14) § Forgive the debt.
What indebtedness did you incur? What does this individual or institution owe you? What possibility has been thwarted? What need or expectation was not met? What end to innocence occurred? SAY: You don't owe me!
§ Accept others as they are and release them from any responsibility to meet our needs. § View others as tools of growth. § Make reconciliation.
Reconciliation begins with desire (2 Corinthians 5:19), prayer (with God all things are possible) and action: "Lord, I forgive______ for______. In the name of Jesus Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit, I take back the ground I have allowed Satan to gain in my life because of my attitude_____ and give this ground back to my Lord Jesus Christ."
Post Forgiveness Recovery
§ Even after forgiveness the Journey to recovery may be long. Fuller Seminary professor Dr. Lewis Smedes makes these observations: s When you forgive a person, this does not mean you are immediately healed. s When you forgive a person, this does not mean you are going to be buddy/buddy. s When we forgive a person, this does not mean we surrender the right to restitution or justice when appropriate. s When we forgive a person, this does not mean that we trust them, yet. s When we forgive a person, we are not avoiding pain, we are opening the door to healing. When we forgive, we take the journey at the pace we are able to handle...the deeper the hurt, the longer the journey. iv
§ Forgetting is our beginning evidence that forgiveness has happened and healing has begun. (Luke 24: 16 - Jesus asks "What things?") § Our concern for the needs of the other individual(s) will outweigh our concerns about what they did to us.
Where Are YOU? v
§ Have you been wronged or hurt recently or in your past? § Was your tendency to try and forget about it, to move on to something/body else? § Did you get into the habit of burying the painful emotions that seemed to raise their ugly heads time after time? Do you find yourself staying away from certain people or certain types of people? Are there places and things that cause you to feel the hurt allover again? Are there behavior patterns that you find impossible to change? § Are you tired of hurting the people you love the most? § Does the grass look greener somewhere else? Are you beginning to wonder if your family and the world would not be better off without you? You may be harboring an unforgiving spirit. You may be standing on the verge of a miracle. Forgive and you shall be forgiven (Luke 6:37).
i The Gift of Forgiveness by Charles Stanley, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, 1987, p. 116 ii Stanley, p. 109 iii Stanley, p. 127 iv Contributed by Alan Wickers on to Sermon Central at www.sermoncentral.com/newsletter/060116.html v Stanley, p. 119
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